Ridicule…from friends
January 15th, 2009
I was at a meeting recently that involved a lot of food. There was a minister there who was trying to do the Jennie Craig diet. She had bought her own salad dressing and a smaller dish to eat out of. I heard someone make a comment to her about the size of her plate. It was meant to be funny, but I could tell from the woman’s reaction it was not funny to her. I watched her put her plate away and get the regular size plates, filling it up as everyone else was doing. I felt very bad for her. Instead of celebrating her efforts she was being ridiculed for her efforts. Ironically, she will be ridiculed for her weight as well. I later saw this same minister at another meeting. After the service a meal was served for all of the participating ministers.
When I got to my seat a plate had already been prepared for me. This plate was literally piled so high and was so full you could not see the edges of the plate. When one of the servers came to see if I needed anything else I asked them if it would be any trouble for them to bring me a plate with only a piece of chicken and just a spoonful of green beans? The server was not rude, but she was obviously shocked at such a request. She inquired, are you sure that is all you want? Yes, that is all I want. So she brought it to me. The other minister who was trying to watch what she ate sat next to me with an overflowing plate as well. Losing weight is such a sensitive subject that I could have offended her if I had tried to defend her. It takes more courage than people realize to manage, especially in social situations.
I’ve heard it said from different ministers that the body of Christ is the only army that marches on its belly. They are so right. It is almost next to impossible to have any form of relationship with anyone in the body of Christ that does not involve food as a major part of that relationship. While I know this can also be true with non-church people, it is out of hand in the church. There is not fellowship without eating. Just to sit and talk or have activities together that are not focused on food is unheard of.
I did not have an overwhelming social calendar before I began to watch what I ate. However, once it became known that I was careful about what I put in my body, those few invitations for social interaction went to zero.
I found that when you desire to eat healthy, you not only stick out like a sore thumb, but the people force you to stick out further and more prominently. People try to make your eating habits strange and the word “skinny” is not a term of endearment. It is one of criticism. To overcome alcohol, drugs and sexual addiction is a great accomplishment in the church. To overcome food addiction is not acceptable, however, in the church.
The statistics of Christians dying from diabetes and heart conditions is just as high as among non-Christians and non-church-goers.
I do not have the desire to lecture anyone about their health and/or nutritional habits. A change must be made in our habits or we will not be able to fulfill the commission placed on our lives. A change must be made in our attitude toward each other, looking for ways to help those who are struggling with food addictions. Journey with me as we discover the reason for our current attitude and how we can change.
For those of you who do not have a weight problem and/or a health problem, you can still help by becoming aware of the issues.
I want to continue to emphasize that there have been individuals who have been extremely supportive of me during this time. Some of these are people who have also had a problem and are conquering the war over food in their own lives. They know what it is like. Ironically, everyone that is supporting me is not overweight. There are those who have had other health issues linked directly to the food they eat, even though their weight is enviable by others.
Categories: People Experiences |
Hi Joanne
I Followed your link from the HCG Group posting and I just wanted to tell you that I think you are lovely!!! You are an inspiration. GO GIRL!!! The only reason for people to act badly toward you is jealousy – and they have to answer for that. Don’t let them get you down! That is a satanic attack if I ever saw one…
You are absolutely right about the Body of Christ being very food-centric! I am an associate rector’s fiancee who is trying to get ready for the wedding in June with the help of God and HCG. I left our Agape meal today after only staying for a cup of coffee. Those people may think I’m stuck up but they won’t be holding my hand when I’m crying in a dressing room because I’m so fat. I am taking back me!
Well, just wanted to encourage you and say hello.
God bless you and we’ll wage this war together!
Andrea
Who released 26.6 pounds as of today! Praise God!
Hi Andrea. Thank you so much for your comments. I have almost been surprised at the amount of people who have had the same kind of trouble. There is a minister on facebook who lost 87 pounds and he says people thought he had aids. It is a shame that we have trouble celebrating each other’s successes…but that really is the nature of the beast. The same way we can save a village one child at a time, we can change the thinking of people and the church, one church and/or one person at a time.
I believe that you will succeed on your journey and will have a beautiful wedding. If you have any before and after pictures after the wedding I would be happy to post them. Blessings to you and your future.
Joanne
hi joanne, i ahree with what andrea has said. i’ve only recently had my eyes opened to jealousy issues of others. it’s hard when you are a pure person and recognize your weaknesses and really do something about it.
how many of those folks must be suffering with diabetes and perhaps overweight issues and are not embracing the opportunity to fellowship with you and make better changes for their lives as well as live for the church and what Jesus stands for. ( and you have to remember what happened to him). new alliances will be made and new truths will be known and God bless you. linda rn
Thanks, Linda. It is a battle that we will win one person at a time. I am pretty convinced that the pain of others is sometimes so deep they cannot see the possibility of being free from it. Consequently when others move in that direction, it says it is do-able. So now what do they do? Learning to love people where they are is something I am learning at a whole new level. Your words are most encouraging. May you reap the kindness into your own life, as well. Joanne
This has been encouraging. I started a program of healthy eating and exercise a year ago. I’ve always been a food-a-holic so it is a battle. I have fibromyalgia. Eating a certain way, no sugar, low simple carbs… No need to go into it but eating this way and exercising has, well, made me lose weight! So, now I get the criticism. A woman I hardly know at church, told me not to lose any more weight! A priest told my husband, also a priest, I was too thin. Would my husband tell that man his wife is too fat? I’ve been surprised at all this. And it is endless. At a birthday lunch I organized for a friend I was informed it was bad manners to be on a diet!! Yes, I may be celiac and off wheat but it’s thought I should forget it and eat cake!! So far I haven’t made any spritely answers. I don’t feel I need to win anybody over but I do wish for some thin friends to balance it out. Running into the remarks here has been really helpful. Thank you.
I am so glad that this article has helped you. The only reason I can come up with that seems to make losing weight so intimidating to people is the fact that it is a difficult thing to do…and as a whole most of us have felt or feel powerless to conquer a battle with food when we have to eat. When someone is able to do something that is evaluated as “difficult” this says that it CAN be done. Then people feel guilty.
Whenever I go out to eat with someone, that person will look at what I order and invariably will make a comment like “I should be eating like that” as if I verbally said something to them about their food (which I did not). There seems to be a signal to people that when we eat healthy or eat less we are silently telling everyone to eat like we are…when that is not true.
I agree with you to hold your ground. I have noticed that the people who give the advice to not lose any more weight will rarely offer to pay the doctor bills for the illnesses associated with obesity or wrong food choices. Some people have a great weight, but certain foods are not good for their health and experience the same ridicule.
You are right concerning the comment about being too thin. I have heard people say to others, “Hi skinny” knowing they would never say to me, “Hi Fatty.”
You gotta laugh to keep from crying…not for yourself, but for others. Keep up the good work!!!
Hello Apostle,
It is a sad truth that one of the only things the Body can agree on is FOOD! This is another one of the enemy’s tricks to keep us bound. When we become new creatures we should be more concerned with the spiritual food, eating to live not living to eat.
I do repent and will get back on my post because I believe this is one area that the Lord wants me to minister in…it is so needed. In order to be effective in the battle we must be effective with subduing this body…balance…mind, body and spirit!
Love you much,
Theresa
Thank you, Theresa, for your thoughts. I encourage you to continue in this vein because so many people are being cut short in their destiny because of poor health. While there are sicknesses and diseases that require a miracle and/or huge medical undertaking, a good portion of what we experience is because of our poor choice of foods and lack of good exercise. I hate the thought of standing before our Heavenly Father prematurely and telling Him I could not make it because I could not keep my mouth shut!!!
Always good to hear from you.